Recently, Disney Plus decided to release a movie based off of the famed Disney series, “Phineas and Ferb,” called “Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Candace Against The Universe.” The original series ended in 2015, so why would Disney decide to release a new movie based off of a hit series which ended five years ago? Well, the answer to this question, like most questions and concerns as of late is simply, 2020. The year has been so chaotic already, so why not add in a family friendly classic to watch during your virtual classes, right? Wrong.
The movie at a glance seems extremely similar to the hit series; it has all the main characters, and said characters are voiced by all the original voice actors. It has music and choreography and weird inventions and -inators, the whole shebang. But this time around, we see Candace, Phineas and Ferb’s older sister who is constantly sick of them, as the protagonist. With Candace (Ashley Tisdale) as the protagonist, of course it has to start off with Candace spending at least the first five minutes of the movie singing complaints about her days getting ruined by her little brothers and their friends. The song, per usual, is dumb with terrible lyrics and cringy choreography. Then, aliens kidnap Candace and Vannesa. Vanessa, the portrayal of the typical teenage girl, takes selfies of everything, even alien, probably man-eating, plants. Meanwhile, Candace just sits there complaining about how the universe is against her and how it’s all her brothers’ fault. She then proceeds to find an alien leader who, get this, also hates her brothers! What a plot twist. The kids and Doofenschmirtz then team up to save Vanessa and Candace from the aliens, not knowing that Candace is in “I hate my brothers and that’s okay and I have a purpose in life” paradise. That’s right; Candace finds out that she is the “Chosen One” when she meets these aliens and claims to feel that for the first time, she’s special. However, the plot twist revolving door eventually slaps her in the face when it turns out that she is only wanted for evil purposes and that her alien leader friend who hated her brothers is, wait for it, EVIL! So, Candace and everyone else have to save the planet from these aliens who want humans’ oxygen. And of course they save everyone and the whole city, which is definitely not freaking out by the remains of an alien invasion laying everywhere, singing a silly song to conclude the marvelous movie. Finally, the torture has ended. Oh, nope, there’s Perry. Wow, this movie was a circus wreck! Let’s start with the obvious: it was completely unnecessary. The series had already concluded five years ago and all the loose ends, including the kids’ futures, were tied up by the series finale. Summer was over, everyone was happy, the world was great, etc. etc. Then, this movie popped in unexpectedly. We have no knowledge of when or why it takes place; it just bluntly starts with Candace complaining about an invention which goes unexplained during the entire film. I, like many other Disney fans, find the “Phineas and Ferb” series songs to be catchy and fun. These songs, however, are officially the bane of my existence. Every song in the movie seemed to follow the same pattern as the first one which abruptly started the movie: sudden, pointless, and complete with atrocious choreography. I can see how the creators tried to imitate the original songs, but the movie’s songs just ended up being boring, sometimes unrelated, and annoying. The characters felt wrong, like they were robotic clones of the original ones. Although the same voice actors were used, they sounded less like the actual characters and more like actors who were trying too hard to be someone that they weren’t; this change was likely caused by the amount of time between 2015 and now (indicating a voice change in the actors) or a general disconnection between the characters and voice actors at some time. Many of the characters and their actions also felt basic. Even the villain, who shocked nobody but Candace when she revealed that she was evil, seemed basic, with only a short sob story to back her up as a character and absolutely nothing else but Basic Villainy 101. It’s like the antagonist just learned how to do her job two days ago. Heck, even Candace didn’t seem that surprised, scared, or disappointed by the antagonist’s villainy, as she let out a lame, small “NO” when she was left to marvel at the villain’s master plans. Where’s the screaming, the agony, the “Oh, why was I a dumb person in a movie” yell? The absolute worst part about this movie is the full sarcasm and the excessive amount of satire. Normally, a little satire spices up the plot and gives the audience something to chuckle at, but the directors overused the satirical humor to the point where it holds up the plot, provides unnecessary commentary, and builds up annoyance in the viewers to the point that they are forced to punt-kick their laptops and phones across the room to shut up the jabbering aliens. The constant breaking of the fourth wall, as well as silly break aways from the actual plot, make the movie feel long, boring, and overall, take away from any progress that the characters may have accomplished, specifically Candace. The plot itself, or what’s left of it, feels overly predictable and reused. I was getting “Queen of Mars” vibes from the movie, feeling like it had been copied and slightly rewritten from an episode in the series. The idea of aliens kidnapping humans and using them for some strange purpose that only humans can fill is a bit overused and I honestly feel like this movie was just a PG version of any other alien/scifi movie out there. This is unfortunate because I always felt that the series itself had taken common ideas, stories, history, inventions, etc. and twisted them to become something funny and enjoyable to young and more immature viewers. Overall, I feel like this movie casts a bad shadow over the franchise as a whole. I can understand the effort to appeal to audiences of the series, but I can’t say that I can give the movie credit for being anything more than a rip-off of the famed series to make some extra money. It makes me feel depressed that kids today might think that THIS is what “Phineas and Ferb” really was. My advice: Just watch the original series if you want to have brain cells by the end of the day.
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Every year, people from all across the country celebrate a break from their work on Labor Day. Castle High School students and staff are doing the same as they move into a fun-filled four day weekend.
Labor Day is a national holiday dedicated to appreciate the American workers and their time put into bettering society. Teachers and other staff members from Castle High School put in countless hours of hard work to ensure a fun and safe learning environment for students every day. Luckily, Labor Day allows them to reboot and notice how appreciated they are. One of the most popular things to do over the Labor Day weekend is to leave town. Sadly COVID-19 has put a damper on many American’s plans to travel. However, some Castle students plan on taking a small trip to see family, friends, or just a change in scenery. Elle Dewees, a sophomore at Castle, has a cross country meet at Gibson Southern over the weekend and is “so excited to visit her friends.” The pandemic has caused a lot of stress in everyone's life. Many are hoping to achieve some relaxation. Teachers and students alike are able to take time for themselves and have fun with those they love. Jenna Mesker, an employee at Gilkey Chiropractic, is looking forward to “spending time at the pool with her family and friends.” A four day weekend is well deserved by the students and staff members at Castle High School. Since returning to in-person school in August, they have all been working hard to build a successful school year. Be sure to have fun and stay safe this weekend. You deserve it. With the purchase of Fox by Disney, the Simpsons franchise has continued and moved onto Disney+. Disney has had new shorts produced starring Maggie Simpson. The new one ran in front of “Onward”, which was released earlier this year. I love the idea of doing Simpsons shorts before movies. Not every movie but a few would be good. The short stars Maggie Simpson like the 2012 Oscar nominated short that’s also on Disney+. The new short is very well made. The art and animation are very high quality just like any other animation that’s associated with Disney. The Simpsons as a show has also had great animation quality for years too. Now the quality of the writing for the show is up for debate.
Maggie Simpson in “PlayDate with Destiny”: This is the new short that came out with “Onward” and it’s about Maggie finding another baby she likes at the playground and she tries to see them as Homer messes up. These shorts feature Maggie mainly, so dialogue is not in them, so they rely a lot on visual storytelling and it’s pulled off successfully. Overall, this was a great opening short to be shown by Disney and hopefully more of them will be incorporated a little bit before movies to give Pixar a break every now and then. Maggie Simpson in “The Longest DayCare”: This was the short that came out in 2012. It’s about Maggie being dropped off at a daycare where she is placed in the “non-gifted” section, and she tries to protect a caterpillar cocoon from her arch nemesis, Baby Gerald. I did like this short a little bit more, it was a little more humorous. Its gags revolve around classic chase tropes but they’re babified. In conclusion, I enjoyed the new Simpsons short very much. I do believe that Simpsons shorts have strong potential to become something great, especially with the decline in great storytelling the actual TV show has gone through in recent years. Future shorts could be a great way to keep the Simpsons as a franchise alive for moviegoers. I mean once movie theaters fully open back up I’d love to see my favorite characters from Springfield on the big screen occasionally. Shorts would also be a great way to spend time with side characters throughout the series like Milhouse, Moe, Lenny, Carl, and Principal Skinner. They’ll most likely just stick with Maggie which is okay with me. I rate the 2012 short and the 2020 short a 10/10 each for their solid animation, visual storytelling, and just for being a fun watch. I would like to preface this article by saying that Jacob Collier is an amazing musician that anyone can appreciate. However, with the vast majority of his fan base being fellow musicians, I may refer to things or use terms only musicians will know about. I will link a Wikipedia article or two if you’d like the starting point of a rabbit hole into music theory/production. Other than that, enjoy the review!
On August 14, legendary British musician, Jacob Collier released the third album in his four part album series “Djesse.” Since 2014, Jacob has been making music which ranges in anything from a jazz arrangement of The Flintstones theme song (which earned him one of the four Grammys he has) to more pop-influenced songs with artists like Daniel Caesar or Ty Dolla $ign. “Djesse Vol. 3” is truly an amalgamation of so much of his work. With songs like “All I Need” taking on a more pop-centered feel, “In My Bones” with it’s funky lyrics and sound, or even his song “Time Alone With You” featuring Daniel Caesar highlighting his insane knowledge of music theory; being completely in the “made-up key” of A half sharp major. (Which is not the first song he’s done that in). The album’s tracklist consists of 12 songs: “CLARITY,” “Count The People,” “In My Bones,” “Time Alone With You,” “All I Need,” “In Too Deep,” “Butterflies,” “Sleeping On My Dreams,” “Running Outta Love,” “Light It Up On Me,” “He Won’t Hold You,” and “To Sleep.” Three of these songs are a part of his ever growing series of Logic session breakdowns, in which he goes through many of the individual vocal or instrumental tracks, explains his process, and gives a little insight into the background of the songs. In the “All I Need (featuring Mahalia and Ty Dolla $ign)” breakdown, he even jokes about how he beat his record for number of tracks in a song! (Almost 650)! Now, about the actual songs. As I already mentioned, “Djesse Vol. 3” is a complete amalgamation of all the talents and skills Collier has. I think the reason a lot of people, most particularly fellow musicians, adore his music is because of his diverse palate and how he doesn’t just stick to one theme for each song. I would say one of my favorite tracks on the record, and one that displays this perfectly, is “In My Bones” feat. Kimbra & Tank and The Bangas. It starts as a funky, kind of jazzy, poppy tune but as we get further in we’re introduced to some rap / hip-hop themes and even some epic style trumpets and vocals. This song is insanely good and it’s such a unique take on all the styles it represents. Another song I’d like to highlight is “Sleeping On My Dreams.” This song is probably the most “mainstream” sounding song of Collier’s… and it is still insanely detailed and interesting to listen to. While watching the Logic session breakdown video for this song, I was amazed at how many details I missed listening to it in full, yet when you take those little things out it’s not the same. A good example of this is the second verse. Collier will often hide little easter eggs or little bits that make the song feel whole but in this verse he adds so many. One is the sound of beatles flying, panned left to right, when the lyrics go “You could be an animal and all I have to do is be tamed.” And immediately after, the sound of a swish, now panned right to left, when the words are, “I watched you fly ‘round with nothing to lose.” And, of course, one of my favorites: the sound of boots walking when the words are “My boots were getting heavy and I…” The amount of detail Collier puts into his production is insane and this song shows just that. I know it sounds like I have absolutely nothing negative to say about this album or Jacob Collier in general, but that’s because it’s true. If you’ve never listened to his music, I 100% recommend it, whether you’re a musician or not. His songs “Hideaway,” “Moon River,” “With the Love in My Heart,” and “Hajanga” are genuinely some of my favorite songs of all time and at this point I’m just telling you to go listen to Jacob Collier. Overall, “Djesse Vol. 3” is such an amazing album that displays so many of his talents and I’d recommend it to anyone I come across. |